11 December, 2011

Probably Too Much For A Facebook Status Update

On November 6th I posted a photo on Facebook announcing to the world, or at least to the part of the world that matters to me, that I was pregnant. In my excitement (or, in retrospect, naiveté) I let you all know as soon as we knew, about this totally awesome happening.

I had my first doctor appointment this Thursday past and there I received some shocking news: no heartbeat. No heartbeat and an unmistakable pronunciation that my first pregnancy is destined to be a miscarriage. That’s hard to write out. I must admit, when my morning sickness (which was all the time) eased along with other symptoms I though that I was just one of the lucky ones who would have an easy time of it. Sadly, that was not the reason, I suppose.

It’s easy to be fatalistic when you’re thinking things will come to you. . . much harder when things are being lost. Mr. Crow and I are doing alright though. It was shocking and terribly sad at first and, of course, it still is, but it’s a little tempered now, too.

We always said “if it was time then it was time” so I guess now was not the time. Maybe, with the new house and all it would have been too much to handle. . . Maybe the kid figured out early on that we were vegetarians and went to go live with a family that would feed it bacon and he just couldn't find a suitable sublet tenant.

So, we thank you all for the well wishes and we want you to know that we’ll be saving them for later. Consider this a postponement.

You’ve been put on notice.

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